BEFORE: “Figure what type of product you are going to store, what type of crate are going to be used, and then you can determine how strong of pallet racks you want to install and use in your own storage areas.”
AFTER: Identify the types of products and crates used in your storage area before determining what pallet rack strength you need.
The following sentence is reduced from 15 to 8 words.
BEFORE: “Expanding business can be difficult, but does not mean that it has to be impossible.”
AFTER: Expanding business can be difficult, but not impossible.
Should 24 words be used when 5 can get the meaning across?
BEFORE: “Firstly, one must always remember that the sole purpose of writing the article is to inform people not to promote their business or products.”
AFTER: Articles should inform, not promote.
Do you have an example of when fewer words created a better understanding?
